It is heartbreaking to see them make the same mistakes over and over again.
All too often, I see friends continually devastated by their dating experiences. Don’t give them your power by allowing yourself to feel bad.
If a man opens a door for a woman, is he then seen as being too assertive? Do you risk looking like a disrespectful and lazy many who doesn’t care? The Art of Manliness agrees that this modern day conundrum affect most men on a first date.
I realized that it had very little to do with the men, but more to do with how the women approached dating.
I’m going to dig past the clichéd advice of “nobody is perfect” and “you’ll just know when you find them”, and get to the heart of the matter.–If you tell people that you need a thoughtful, attentive, romantic, communicative, passionate, athletic, well-educated partner who just loves to give massages, cook and snuggle, then you might be in for a rude awakening. Think internal characteristics, not external features. Are you weighing their “value” as a partner in your mind on your first date with them?
Sure, there are some people in the world with all those traits, but that doesn’t mean that they’re all that common (or available! Are all of those things absolutely necessary to your love life feeling complete? While there are certain deal breakers that are fairly universal (being ill-mannered, self-centred, abusive, etc.) if you find yourself emotionally checking out of a new relationship because of one small slip-up, then you might just be playing it safe. It might give you the warm and fuzzies to think about emulating another seemingly successful couple, but you have to fall in love with a person… Is your “must have” list all about how your potential partner looks? Are you adding up a points list about their income, family background, societal stature, and number of abdominal muscles you can count? Intimate relationships require that you fall in love with someone’s soul.
However, there are still women who believe that it is important important that a man shows respect by doing these things.
So that leaves men wondering what they are supposed to do.